Due to overwhelming reader request, I hereby give to you a sonnet of questionable morality. Women the line for me to be your baby's daddy starts right here.
To an Unborn Son
They tell me it will change when I have one of my own
That his cherubic face and chubby little arms
Will suck the greed straight out of me, thoroughly disarm me
And maybe that’s so; maybe love does cut to the bone.
But until I see for myself how sharing a chromosome
Can imbue this child with some inalienable charm
That will inspire me to hope and wish selflessly
For successes I’ve yet to hit on, I think I’ll hold on.
Now don’t go rushing to conclusions or psychiatrists
Telling them how you were unloved as a child
And that’s why you’re filled with malevolence
As I’m telling you now, without any pretense or guile,
No matter how much you do mean to me, I simply can't see
How I could love anyone, even my seed, as much as I do me.
Worst Thing I've Heard This Week
Girl #1 - Natalie Portman looked hot in V for Vendetta
Girl #2 - Even with the shaved head?
Girl #1 - Yeah
Dan H. - Well that must be a comforting thought; now she knows she'll still look hot even if she gets cancer.
That may be the most insensitive, politially incorrect, inconsiderate comment I've ever heard in a month, Kudos.
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Now that I've confirmed that there aren't, in fact, any women in line to be the future mother of your child, I think I should (on behalf of all womankind) ask you to stop with the poetry. It's not becoming of your rough exterior image. :)
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