THIS HURTS ME MORE THAN IT DOES YOU

I'm not very good at acting on my decisions.  Perhaps it has to do with my tendecy to procrastinate, perhaps it has something to do with Newtonian physics.  I honestly don't know.  However, the fact remains, my deciding to do something and my actually doing it, are not the same thing.  I bring this up because after about six minutes of deliberation I have decided I will start going the the gym.  This will not be the first time I've decided to go to a gym.  I have, in fact, even been a member of a gym.  That gym has since closed - though they did wait until they'd charged my credit card for every month of that year long membership before they locked up the butterfly machine. 

Still, in the intervening decade the idea of joining a gym has occurred to me on and off.  In fact, I even went so far as to buy a Total Gym.  The machine, was endorsed by Chuck Norris, the man who brought us the push down and most likely invented, based on the two torn rotator cuffs I suffered, by Torqemada.  Unlike the actual gym memebership the Total Gym has proven surprisingly useful, making for a great paper weight, door stop and, most importantly, a clothes hanger. 

Given this history a new gym membership may seem like a bad idea, but that's looking at it from a selfish point of view.  Sure the odds are against my using this membership to its fullest, and in favor of my flushing $50 a month down the drain, but think of how many people will benefit from that money.  My membership fees will help keep the gym open (as evidenced by what happened to my previous gym once my membership expired), keep trainers employed and most importantly allow men women to work out.  My money will keep people in shape thereby beautifying the world in general.  So yes, the odds might say this is a bad idea for me, and you may try and tell me 'I told you so', when I tell you I've gone once in the last 6 weeks, but that's only because you're too self-absorbed to see that I'm doing this for your own good.