I'LL DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!

I'm kinda tired, let's meet up after lunch. I might have something for you then. I don't want to tease it too much, but let's just say it involves the greatest athletic achievements in history.

UPDATE:
OK, so I had lunch. Unfortunately the only thing it did, aside from make me gassy (if we can't tell each other these things what hope do we have of making this a lasting relationship?), is confirm the fact that I don't want to be at work, and if I have to be, I'd prefer to be asleep. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'I've read about your dodgeball exploits and you're clearly a superior athlete (or as sportscasters say ath-uh-leet), how can you be so tired?' Well, the reasons for my fatigue are two-fold.

First, while most of the people there were calling it some random hunk of rock in Taconic State park, I'm pretty sure I climbed Mount Killamanjaro on Sunday, maybe K-2 (Everest is for blind people and pansies), it's hard to tell, at that elevation the brain gets a bit fuzzy. I was also informed by people who I have on good authority are called "haters", that I didn't rock climb, I rock scrambled. However, I don't think I'll be drinking from that particular can of "haterade" (apparently it's high in electrolytes, who knew?). I got to the top of Killamanjaro WITHOUT EXTRA OXYGEN, I clearly have skills. Now, while the climb was physically taxing and rather hard on the cocyx (google it) that alone wouldn't have been enough to take me down, I am after all a physical specimen (that's what I call a lie of misinterpretation). The climb was, however, directly followed by part two of the two-fold attack on my specimen,the final night of my dodgeball season.

Yes folks, just 24 games and, like the blink of my one black (dodgeball is apparently a contact sport) eye, it's over. Still, as a team befitting my presence, we went out in style, reeking of cheap liquor and going undefeated on the night - winning three and tying once. By the way, anyone who asks about whether we won 2 of those games by forfeit will quickly come know what it means to see eye to eye with a dodgeball.