I'm torn. On the one hand, I find myself rather pleased with the changes I've made to the blog. I feel refreshed, invigorated. I feel like that guy in the Irish Spring commercial. On the other, Eliott Spitzer, Governor of NY, just resigned because he got caught paying protitutes for sex. So, here I am, with a great column and another twenty-four hours till Current Events Day, and, as anyone who's ever watched 24 can tell you, a day can last an eternity. SO you know what? Screw it! Today and tomorrow will be devoted to what I'm sure will soon be known as (due to rampant unoriginality) HOOKERGATE.
So I know you've all read about this by now so let me just highlight my favorite aspects of the scandal:
- He didnt use an alias to reserve a room for his hooker, he used the name of one of his closest friends and biggest campaign contributer. Now THAT'S gratitude.
- He scheduled for the night before Valentine's Day. Apparently he feels men should get more than a 'thank you, hun' and a hug for four grand.
- He got caught because of suspicious banking activity. If you have a family fortune closing in on a billion dollars - that's one thousand million for those of you who have trouble comprehending just how much money that is - how do you not have a safe somewhere in your house with a million dollars in what I like to call, 'discretionary funds'? It's not using a credit card to pay for a protitute, though according to the NY Post they do accept Visa and Mastercard (Note to advertising agencies, I have a GREAT idea for a 'priceless' commercial, call me.), but I expected more from an ivy leaguer.
Anyway all of this is prelude to my forthcoming unauthorized biography of Mr. Spitzer. The current title in contention are:
#3 - Ho Money, Ho Problems
#2 - He Ain't Nothin But A Horndog
#1 - Elliot 'I'll Pay Extra If You Don't' Spitzer
More titles to come as I think them up.
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