GLOATING

Much like our differing manners of observing Columbus day, my employers, in their infinite wisdom and mercy, have seen fit to give me the day off today to deliberate on who I think is the right choice for Mayor of New York, yours, well, yours think you can decide while you work on spreadsheets.  But enough bragging (hahahahahahahahahahahaha I have the day off and you don't nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh) today is about voting, about the power of choice, the meaning of democracy and that, friends, is a sacred and special thing.  Look at American Idol, thanks to voting we have umm I can't remember the names of anyone on American Idol, there's that chubby one that won the first one and that girl in a bikini and the one who dated Tony Romo, didn't she get fat too though? No wait that was Jessica Simpson... was Jessica Simpson on American Idol?  That seems like a bit of a mismatch.

Anyway, I watched 'Paranormal Activity' last night and I have to say, if the same people who recommended this movie are voting today, I think it's time we abolish democracy.  I get the whole, is it a movie or is it real footage, thing.  I mean I got it ten years ago when 'The Blair Witch Project' sucked, but I still get it today.  Only we KNOW it's a movie and we know this because YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SHOW SNUFF FILMS IN A MOVIE THEATER!  If people actually died it'd be evidence, the police would be investigating or, I don't know, SETI (google it).  Either way you wouldn't be paying to see it.  Also, I get the whole 'the unknown is scarier than anything you can see on screen' and that's true to an extent, we have amazing imaginations, in fact, just the other day I was daydreaming and imagined that Jennifer Love Hewitt was dating Jamie Kennedy. Crazy, I know.  You know what's not scary though? A door moving on its own being the #3 most scariest moment in your movie. Maybe I'm being harsh, it could have been #4, the chandelier slightly swaying on its own may have been #3.  My point is, the movie sucks and I want 90 minutes of my life back and all of you voters out there owe it to me!