IT WAS DARK...

Sorry I couldn't get a second post up on Friday. After three straight days of staying at work well past when I stopped getting paid, we're talking almost an hour people, I decided to turn my brain off at about 3pm and, much as it may shock you to learn this, I still need it to write this ramble.  I've actually gotten quite a few suggestions for posts lately and while I appreciate them all and plan on getting to most of them, I do have a topic of my own I'd like to discuss; Cheating.

Now I know I said I'd stay away from sports but owing to the salacious nature of the topic and the fact that deep down we all love seeing other people screw up, I think most of you know who I'm talking about when I mention the name Steve Phillips. A quick recap, as you probably know all the gory details: Steve is the former general manager of the New York Mets and a now former TV personality for ESPN, his salary with both institutions was over 1 million dollars. Steve was also caught hiding the sausage with a 22 year old intern. None of this is all that shocking or, to be honest, newsworthy, the man had already admitted to having multiple affairs with underlings in the past and well, once you get a taste of intern... The reason why people care is, quite simply, the intern is six kinds of ugly. It's not JUST that he shouldn't have been tempted it's that we're all surprised he managed to pull it off (especially the second and third time) without a blindfold, a bottle of little blue pills and a severe case of short term memory loss. Which brings us to my poll question for today:

If you found out your significant other was cheating on you, but didn't know whose muffin they were buttering, would you hope that it was someone with three chins and enough muffin top to open a specialty bakery, or would you hope it was some too gorgeous to be fully human, gift from the gods?

To help you decide, I'll clarify the arguments for both sides.

For the fuglies: Two routes. He can't possibly be attracted to her, I'm not even sure she's a woman, for God's sake Magnum PI would be jealous of that mustache. He clearly has a problem, it's not his fault. Or, he can't possibly want to look at that forever, I mean he (or she) may have urges that he (let's be honest it's probably he) feels like he can't express with me, but with Fido over here he doesn't have any guilt. He can explore the full reaches of the urban dictionary without regret or the expectation that she'd say she's too good for that. Whereas he KNOWS I'm too smart, too pretty and too self-confident to Moo Shoo Pork.

For the Angelina's: I know a guy who's friend's girlfriend hooked up with Derek Jeter while they were still dating (the firend's friend and the girlfriend that is). She subsequently told her boyfriend that she'd taken part in what I believe is now refered to as an Eiffel Tower (I could be wrong about that, it may have been a Leaning Tower, or a Big Ben I get my landmarks confused) with Mr. Jeter and another girl. Her boyfriend's response was; "that's freaking awesome, you're so cool! I love you! By the way did you get any Yankee tickets?" I don't mean this to serve as a guide for how you should react to a similar situation, but imagine how the response would have differed if she'd replaced Derek Jeter and another girl with two guys from a Battlestar Galactica convention (I apologize, it really was a very good show). At least with the Angelina's you can understand how someone would be tempted, whereas with the fuglies, you're first thought after seeing the selection of muffin tops would have to be, you'd pork platypus wouldn't you?

So, there you go. Now I leave the comments section open for voting, please add an explanation to your vote if you don't mind; it's science.