I was walking down Broadway today and there were these two women walking down the street carrying corn stalks in shopping carts. Not ears of corn mind you, not corn with the husk still on, friggin' whole stalks of corn. It's like they'd just come back from visiting Ohidowa (that would be Ohio, Idaho and Iowa) and decided to take a cash crop back as a tsotchke, only we were in the middle of New York City and there wasn't an airport in sight. What amazed me more than the stalks though was that no one else seemed to think it was odd! I mean the Children of the Corn are walking about the like Four Horsemen and not a single person in sight reacted. I think we've become desensitized to the absurd and abnormal. I mean, you don't even realize how odd I am anymore. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your obliviousness, but I think you may be in danger. For example, I was sitting on one of those wooden benches waiting for the subway the other day and this crazy dude who smelled like fermenting vomit sat down next to me. I, of course, being in possession of all five of my senses, got up and moved as far away as my olfactory receptors necessitated. When I turned around, however, the dude who was sitting next to me was still there, only now he was having a conversation with eau de puke. I guess it's possible that he was just a nice guy and didn't want to offend another human being, but trust me on this crazy dude was CRAZY he didn't need anyone to talk to, he had a whole cast of characters he seemed to converse with on a regular basis all on his own; at least one of which should probably be on antipsychotics overweight or not.
Oct 30, 2009
FIVE O'CLOCK SHADOW
Sorry about not posting yesterday readers. I've fallen into a bit of a rut lately, posting my pearls in the late afternoon well past that magic 90 minute span from 9:00-10:30 when everyone searches for something to read while they acclimatize themselves to the rigors of the day. Much like shaving at night, I left myself with an unenviable dilemma; repost again in the morning and let yesterday's flowers bloom for but a moment, or, wait till they have had time to open their petals and scented the air for their allotted day (yes, I know, I mixed my metaphors, I'm open to rhetorical miscegenation). Being lazy, I chose the latter and so the cycle continued, repeating itself like a computer following shampoo instructions (lather, rinse, repeat...). Anyway, I finally decided it was time to break the cycle. So that's why there wasn't a post yesterday. As for why today's post is not going up till lunch time well, five o'clock, I refer you back to 'I'm lazy'. Hey, it's not like I'm getting paid for this! Well I mean technically I'm doing this while I'm at work and I'm getting paid for that so... Whatever, on to the show (Is it 'on to' or 'onto'? it sounds like onto but on to makes much more sense, I think this is one of those situations where 'sounds right' might lead you astray).
I was walking down Broadway today and there were these two women walking down the street carrying corn stalks in shopping carts. Not ears of corn mind you, not corn with the husk still on, friggin' whole stalks of corn. It's like they'd just come back from visiting Ohidowa (that would be Ohio, Idaho and Iowa) and decided to take a cash crop back as a tsotchke, only we were in the middle of New York City and there wasn't an airport in sight. What amazed me more than the stalks though was that no one else seemed to think it was odd! I mean the Children of the Corn are walking about the like Four Horsemen and not a single person in sight reacted. I think we've become desensitized to the absurd and abnormal. I mean, you don't even realize how odd I am anymore. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your obliviousness, but I think you may be in danger. For example, I was sitting on one of those wooden benches waiting for the subway the other day and this crazy dude who smelled like fermenting vomit sat down next to me. I, of course, being in possession of all five of my senses, got up and moved as far away as my olfactory receptors necessitated. When I turned around, however, the dude who was sitting next to me was still there, only now he was having a conversation with eau de puke. I guess it's possible that he was just a nice guy and didn't want to offend another human being, but trust me on this crazy dude was CRAZY he didn't need anyone to talk to, he had a whole cast of characters he seemed to converse with on a regular basis all on his own; at least one of which should probably be on antipsychotics overweight or not.
I was walking down Broadway today and there were these two women walking down the street carrying corn stalks in shopping carts. Not ears of corn mind you, not corn with the husk still on, friggin' whole stalks of corn. It's like they'd just come back from visiting Ohidowa (that would be Ohio, Idaho and Iowa) and decided to take a cash crop back as a tsotchke, only we were in the middle of New York City and there wasn't an airport in sight. What amazed me more than the stalks though was that no one else seemed to think it was odd! I mean the Children of the Corn are walking about the like Four Horsemen and not a single person in sight reacted. I think we've become desensitized to the absurd and abnormal. I mean, you don't even realize how odd I am anymore. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your obliviousness, but I think you may be in danger. For example, I was sitting on one of those wooden benches waiting for the subway the other day and this crazy dude who smelled like fermenting vomit sat down next to me. I, of course, being in possession of all five of my senses, got up and moved as far away as my olfactory receptors necessitated. When I turned around, however, the dude who was sitting next to me was still there, only now he was having a conversation with eau de puke. I guess it's possible that he was just a nice guy and didn't want to offend another human being, but trust me on this crazy dude was CRAZY he didn't need anyone to talk to, he had a whole cast of characters he seemed to converse with on a regular basis all on his own; at least one of which should probably be on antipsychotics overweight or not.
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