KNOCK KNOCK

As some of you may have noticed there was no post yesterday, the reason for this was that there was a minor misunderstanding between my door and I. I was under the opinion that my door should open; it on the other hand had some reservations on the matter. While I did eventually resolve this situation by using my finely honed intellect and burgling skills (they teach you that stuff in law school), I have decided put to paper or whatever the hell the internet is written on what to do should you happen to find yourself in such a situation

If I Ran The World’s Top 10 things To Do When You Get Locked Out
#10 – Call everyone you know
#9 – Yell at anyone who is willing to answer your phone call
#8 – Come up with reasons why you’re happy not to have friends anymore
#7 – Spend as much money as possible on items you would otherwise feel guilty buying
#6 – Milk as much sympathy from your friends as you can
#5 – Ask a hot (sympathetic) female friend if you can crash on her couch (thank you for the suggestion Mary)
#4 – Neglect to mention you don’t believe in wearing anything to bed
#3 – Press a bag of frozen peas to those areas suffering from purse beating
#2 – Try unlocking the deadbolt too
#1 – Lie, lie like your life depended on it. Deadbolt? No I totally tried the deadbolt, it must have been broken or something. You think I would just make reservations at a hotel without trying the deabolt?